Just Be Quiet

It's a noisy world, isn't it? 

Your phone now makes you accessible 24/7, the television news networks are 24/7, Social media and the Information age has brought us a seemingly never ending array of opinions, rants and differentiating belief systems.

We are connected more than ever before, which isn't a bad thing, if you understand how to find a balance in this new technological age.  Balance is certainly the key and over the last year what I've learned is, it's necessary.

Ultimately nobody forces you to turn on the television, to follow that twitter account or go to that person's Facebook page that drives you crazy.  It's your choice. 

Isn't it ever so tempting when something "big" is going on in the news to watch, soak and bathe in these stories?  Soon after, you may find yourself underneath the posts in the comments sections for hours soaking it all in on Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, or any other social media platforms.

If you're not careful, you may even end up in one of those online battles where you are in a never ending battle of back and forth, like kids on the playground fighting over a swing, except the world's watching and your character is on display for the world to see.

Do you realize you have a choice to not partake in any of this and Just Be Quiet?
  
So... Just Be Quiet... Those are the words God spoke to me a few months ago.  I realized I had to shut up and listen to the creator of everything, My Father in heaven. 

Try being quiet, I challenge you.  Believe me it's hard. 

World events are changing daily, someone is enticing you daily to get inside some gossip.  Someone you see something in isn't performing up to your expectations.  You're mad at politics, the government, businesses, people, neighbors, co workers, the list may never end, unless you let it. 

One of the greatest mentors of all time Jim Rohn says, "You can't change the seasons, but you can change yourself."  It starts there.

See many of us, including myself have it backwards.  We think we can control all of our external environment and we are irritated by it most times from sun up to sun down, but what we fail to realize is we are doing it to our-self.

From the morning news, to the Facebook feeds, to the Nightly news, to watching TV or scrolling through our phone at night in bed; It's eating us alive and we feel like we need to share it and tell the world how we feel about it, which then adds to our issues.

Remember this: Confidence is quiet, Insecurities are loud.

You can only control you, and the way you think, act and look at the world.  You can't control the weather, the stock market, the media, foreign wars, democrats and republicans, celebrities..etc.   

The only person you are truly in charge of is you.

Maybe each day instead of going straight to your phone when you wake up, talk radio, or the morning show, you can start off with a prayer like this:

"God it's not up to me, it's up to you.  You are God and I pray for (name's) and for this world.  I'm reminded you are my Father and you have everyone's heart in the palm of your hand.  Let your light shine through into their life and remind me I can't do this on my own.  Let my life be a reflection of you.  I am just the vessel, you are the one who is guiding my every step."

That prayer right there could change your life.  It's changed mine. 

I've found that in my hopes to save or change someone's world, I usually end up ruining my own or I end up exerting everything I have and in the end the person either try's to take from you or make a mockery of you, and then they usually run away.

The great news is there is a savior and it's God's son Jesus Christ and I'm not Him, not even close.  I've surrendered that character trait of myself to Him.  I cannot save the world.

I now understand when to pray harder for a person than personally try to save a person.

I've always thought God had me on a different path for a reason.  I used to literally try to motivate everyone I knew and saw every single day, only to be basically rejected, laughed at and pushed away.  I couldn't wait to give people a piece of my mind on how I could change their life forever.  I couldn't wait to jump on that post and give my opinion. I couldn't wait to be heard.

Let me tell you, it was the wrong philosophy.  It was mostly my ego taking over.

Edging 
God
Out

I've learned through my walk with God that it's important that I humble myself before Him every single day and I keep constantly asking and seeking for wisdom and knowledge because let me tell you, the more people you lead, the more people you get to know, the more challenging it gets.  

"He who is asked to do much, much is required."

So maybe today this is the day everything changes for you. Take the daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly challenge or don't take any, like I said you're in control.  It's completely up to you.


Next time you are riled up and worked up about something or if you're just sick and tired of being sick and tired...

Take the challenge:

Just Be Quiet Challenge

1) Slow Down (Ask why am I feeling this way)
2) Be Quiet (Wait 24 hours or else you are going to be lashing out on emotions)
3) Sleep on it (Wake up, Pray that prayer, Ask if it's still worth addressing)
4) Turn it off (Read your favorite book, Go get ice cream, Take a walk, Observe Nature, Do what you love)
5) Get Creative (Take up a new hobby, learn something new, give back to something, forgive)
6) It's a New Day (Smile)

I hope this post finds you doing well and as always build a life of character, integrity, trust and respect.  Stay true to your heart always, seek God first in all things you do.


God Bless.

Sometimes you have to go home to find yourself

So there I was... Tick, Tack, Toe.  I had completed a ten year uphill battle that was sure to land me at victory.  It was my time to shine, my time to thrive.  The things I had accomplished in a decade by the time I was 28 years old, I was sure to be on my way...

Let me just briefly walk you through what I am talking about.  I had joined the Marine Corps at the age of 18 and I spent two combat tours overseas during my 4 year tour which led me to be the age of 22.  I was now an honorably discharged Marine Corps Infantry grunt that had survived death.

Who could touch me?

Iraq 2005

At age 22 I started back at college.  It was a huge blow to my ego and pride to be a freshmen in college as I began to realize that all of my friends that didn't take the military route were now on with their degrees, relationships, and they were at a whole new stage in life.  I felt like I was just beginning all over again, but I was sure to march forward anyways and there I did it...  I completed my bachelors degree by the age of 26.

It wasn't time to take a break.  I didn't even go to my Undergraduate Commencement ceremony yet and I was already three classes into my Masters program.  I then would go on to finish that by the age of 28 and I figured I was on my way...

First, let me tell you the things I was able to accomplish in the decade were unreal.  I had perfected my image and I knew that I was sure to arrive.  The amount of accomplishments and such I had were unreal to the outside eye.

Recepient of Student of The Year 2011

I was being invited to lunches in the Mayors office, rubbing arms with important people in suits daily, I had a day named after me in Western New York by the Senators office.  I had one of the most prestigious awards of my school given to me.  I was recognized as one of the next big corporate guys on the move by Business First magazine.

I frequently found my face on T.V. or in the newspaper.  Whether it be being recognized as Western New Yorks Good Neighbor for my work, talking about the Boston Marathon bombings, speaking on behalf of Veterans at job fairs or having to speak words for a Marine who just got killed in action in Iraq.  I was showing up and showing up and showing up.

I even went as far as to go deep into my story about war and being almost being shot by a sniper on post which then led me to a staged photo of the moment from war with my family in the background which then led me into an art gallery downtown and a world wide tour of my photo, which then would go viral on social media reaching hundreds of thousands of people.

Soldiers Stories from Iraq and Afghanistan photo 2012

 It was my time to shine and I had it all together...  (To the outside eye anyways)

All I had to do was keep plowing forwards.  Right?

Nope...

Don't get me wrong I am greatful for the decades worth of experiences, but I knew something was deeply missing.

I was tired, I was worn out.  The decade caught up to me at all at once.  The phone kept ringing and I didn't want to pick it up anymore.  I started bowing out of everything.  It's because I was chasing an image I knew I'd never catch.  I had people celebrating me, calling me, telling me to remember them when I'm famous.  They're voting for me when I run for mayor.  I had friends left and right that were wanting to be around me and celebrate, yet I was dying on the inside.

I just crashed.  As soon as I started pulling away, I was losing friends, supporters, etc... But I was suffering severe anxiety, having panic attacks.  I was drinking alcohol just to feel normal.  I was in a nutshell falling apart. I realized my performance was too much to muster up and quite frankly what I had spent years building was all slowly crashing down.

Pittsburgh, PA filming for Make The Connection 2012

I remember it like it was yesterday I put down everything, my job, opportunities to climb the ladder, my apartment, my resumes, my everything.  I knew it was the very reason I was dying inside.  For the first time in my life I had to admit to myself that I was in love with an illusion.  I was chasing an image I would never arrive at it and it was time to go home.  I knew I had to find myself.  I knew my foundation was built on false promises.

I needed to lay down my life, pick up my cross and follow the only one who could set me free, Jesus.

But it couldn't be that easy was it?  Nope.  I sold all of my possessions, my jet ski, my motorcycle, couches, tables, flat screens, left my 2 bedroom 1500sqft apartment and I was looking like that guy who was at the height of everything to a loser who was going home to live with his mom and dad at 28 years old.   The most important thing I knew I had to find was my heart beat again and I had to answer this question: Who was I made to be?

But let me tell you, I had an escape plan to Florida and I was going to find the sunshine and start a new life, but in the end I knew I was still running.

It was at that moment that I knew it was because I wanted to run, I knew I had to stay.

This terrified me.  Isn't it all too easy to run from our problems instead of face them? To mask them into our daily routines and think hey I got this.

But the true question was: What was I running from? Why did I have to muster up this external performance so badly?

Well to be blunt, It's because I wanted acceptance.  The very thing most of us crave on a day to day basis without ever admitting it. It was my way of being validated.  After all isn't that the American dream, "to be known" and to be successful.

A great friend and mentor taught me, "Success at the expense of relationship is counterfeit."

At this point in my life I realized at the age of 18, I accepted Christ into my heart, but I had spent a decade thinking I knew better then Him.  I was on the run and many times He was trying to lead me back home, yet I only felt like I would talk to him if I needed him, other then that He was kicked to the curb.  Basically an after thought.

My strength, pride and ego was all I relied on and that right there is enough to kill you.  Let me tell you this,  Jesus doesn't want to be your spare tire, He wants to be your everything and I learned just how devastating my own ways were.

Jesus says, "He who loses his life in me shall find it.  Deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me."

But what does that look like when you have to put down the image that you spent so long building and perfecting? I actually had to face the vulnerability of looking like a failure for the first time in my life.

I started showing up places and I wasn't celebrated anymore.  I'm telling you, it was not easy and is still not easy.  Now instead I had to show up places, feel humiliated and I'd get this look like, What the heck is wrong with you?  You are throwing your life away.  That should show you how much I used my image for validation and how I needed it so badly to define me.

God will literally strip you of everything false that you've built.  He has to crush your plans because honestly they were all a dead end to begin with which ultimately lead to the emptiness. That's truly why I was dying inside, but in order to restore my life, I realized I must re-submit my life to Him.

This sounds like a death sentence right? I knew how hard this was going to be but for the first time in my life I was willing to surrender it all.

It's actually freedom.  I am free from addiction.  I have not touched alcohol in a year and a half.  I know longer have to pretend I have it all together.  I embrace vulnerability and brokenness.

The extreme anxiety I once faced, I've been set free from.  I simply just don't have to keep up anymore.  As my Pastor said the other day "The Gospel isn't to make bad people good, it's to make dead people live."

"I'm out here searching for a much more elusive prey, I'm searching for my heart."

I was dead, now I am alive.

You see the image we spend so long perfecting, or the shell we spend so much time protecting.  The fear that is deep rooted in our hearts, God knows and when you turn it all over to Him, He has to do spiritual surgery on your heart and bring you back to the start line.  You will then realize how you have been deceived for so long.

I would not trade these last two years of "not having it all together" for the world.  I haven't had a solid pay check in two years.  One of my favorite quotes that came to me through these times is "I've never been more broke, but I've never felt so rich."  If you truly trust God's plan for your life, he will provide you everything you need.

Leaving monetary offers on the table was not easy.  I would have a job offer and realize nope if I go there now, I'm going to run right back to where I started.  So I'd say no sorry can't take it, because deep down I knew that was my exit plan out of all this.  It was the easy way out.

More then any thing money could buy, I desperately wanted to find my heart beat and I realized by discovering this that eventually my foundation for a future with a wife, children, jobs, and other opportunities that would emerge, it was only then my life's foundation would be built on solid rock because it would be God's plan, not Jeff's.

Currently, I am serving my church's mission and through this I've seen some amazing growth, experienced tremendous vulnerability and am learning more about myself every single day.  I'm a firm believer that to discover your true authentic self, you have to serve a mission that has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Counter-cultural huh?

I live with a dresser, a bed, a car, a fish tank and a guitar.  That two bedroom luxurious apartment is long gone and I have a small room to sleep in at night.  I'm a loser to the worlds eyes, but I understand God is changing my heart before he'll ever change my situation and I am so blessed for that.   I've heard just about all of the slanders you can probably imagine about my decision to return home.  It's okay though, I once ran from it, now I embrace it.

As Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans not to harm you, plans to prosper you and give you life."

That's where I want to be.  God's got me in the palm of his hands.

Here would be my thinking point to you, the reader...  We as a Western Society have built in so many lies into our system and culture.  Here's a few examples...

"If I'm not here by a certain age, I'm a failure.  If I don't have a marriage, a house and all these external things I'm a failure."  It's all not true.  Don't buy that plan.  Look at the statistics of debt, divorce... etc.

If I could be a living testimony to say: Stop chasing the illusion.  Trust me, it's a dead end.

Your heart is too precious and so is your life.  If you've never turned your heart to the Lord, I will tell you he is going to transform you and make you brand new.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." ‭-2 Corinthians‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬

I'm loving this wild adventure and the best days have yet to come.  God Bless and be well.

-Jeff

So aren't you in one of those Pyramid Schemes? Well let's take an honest look..

Pyramid Scheme.. 

Ahh the ever elusive title tossed around by so many who can hardly define it correctly when asked. Often times, here is the cliche definition slammed towards any guy or girl who has chosen to get involved in a legit home based business, affiliate marketing, direct sales, or Network Marketing, whatever you want to call it. Can you guess it? Well here it is...

"The guy at the top makes the most money and everyone down the chain loses."

That is true in that of an actual pyramid scheme. Let's define an actual pyramid scheme. A pyramid scheme is a false promise of a turn around on investment in a short period of time without ever receiving a tangible product or commodity.

Meaning, I invite you to check out an opportunity. I have no products, no company. I am just saying we are going to make a bunch of money by putting our money in the hat first. Yes eventually new participants will only feed the top of the pyramid. Making it illegal and a pyramid scheme. Jail time, Bernie Madoff.. etc

Here's a great example illustrated of a pyramid scheme:

Well first lets set some things straight here. The Network Marketing industry is a legitimate industry and it's a professional one. In fact internationally, it produces roughly $167 billion dollars a year. There are plenty of very very successful companies some of which you may have heard of and in fact purchased products from, Mary Kay, Avon, Tupperware.. etc

So to give you an idea how big that is:

This industry, It's not for amateurs. To attain an above average income you must first attain an above average skill set, and you must master leadership and creating leaders.  This generally is what makes people go home early.

Also, you must have a strong desire for helping people, a backbone for taking crap, a very giving heart and you could say part of it is meeting people where they're at in life.  In 2015, people are struggling financially, health wise, people are out there looking for more.  So you gage where they're at and go to work on bringing out the best in them and helping them to identify and meet their needs and desires.

You can't change people, only they can change themselves. Some may initially reject you or resent you, but in most cases if they stay true to the grind, they're later thanking you for changing their life.  But this will never work if you don't work.

In a world that is becoming so quick to look for hand outs and constantly wanting to be taken care of, you can imagine why it's quality over quantity here.  Life responds to people who work for it, not need it.  The President is currently preaching Associates Degree's paid for by Tax Payers. Why would you work to pay for an Associates Degree if it's given to you?  Most people are getting in line for this stuff, so when you have to put skin in the game to earn something, inherit risk and put in the sweat equity to receive the rewards, you're bound to lose people.

Exactly why many go home and they go home before they even hardly start.  This industry isn't a lottery ticket to riches. That's why many never make any money here.  They join thinking you just sit around and it all happens for you.  You can show up to many jobs and kind of slide under the radar and still go home with a check. Many choose this route, but again it won't work here.

In a legitimate network marketing company. Results take time and just as when you start any business, you don't open the doors and you have millions of dollars flooding into your hands.  It's called NetWORK marketing for a reason.  Name me one business that during year one their profit margin was super high.  It's a process and any business owner knows that.  In fact, often times in traditional business you can spend years in the red until you ever see your first profit.  In fact I have a friend that started a catering business and it took her 24 years to break even and get all that she invested back.

This is the most important thing you must realize in Network Marketing. You are the top. Results are dependent on you. Sure there may be many people who have joined the business before you, but you will never financially benefit most of those people because of the balanced two teamed system. Contrary to "pyramid schemes" anyone can out earn anyone.

In my current company.. A guy named Evan Schultz enrolled a guy named Luke Hessler. Luke has out earned Evan in some months by as much as $20,000 (results not typical, because Luke's not typical). He is one of the brightest, most dedicated, hard working guys I know and if you ever have the chance to meet him, you'll know why he makes that income. Now, I'm not discrediting Evan here.  He's one of my good friends.  I am just showing you that it's possible.

In a pyramid scheme, this is not possible. You can not out earn anyone who has enrolled you.  In Network Marketing you can.  Meaning the playing field is fair at all times.   

See I think one the main disconnects is in school we are only taught to work for someone.  Very few people I encounter on a daily basis are entrepreneurs or entrepreneurial thinkers. Many have ideas or want to do something different, but the common theme I find is they are too afraid to even try. Contrary to what school teaches that failure is horrible.  It's actually a good thing in life. It means you are trying and you are growing.

But also I believe it's because we are not taught what it's like to think from the top down down or starting something of our own.  So we naturally don't understand how the entrepreneurial process works.

I would argue that if I showed you the organizational chart of your very business you either own or represent... The organizational chart when laid out on paper would represent a shape of none other then a pyramid and you are somewhere in it.

And I bet you can not out earn most people who brought you into your company or if you're a business owner, no one below you will ever have the chance while working for you to out earn you. 

Man isn't that amazing, magically your organization is in the shape of a pyramid. Yes, hate to break it to you. And if you argue pyramid schemes are "the guy at the top makes the most money" same goes for your business or the business you represent on just about, if not every occasion.

So here's how to know you are joining a legitimate Network Marketing Business... First off they are customer driven.  Over 70% of my current company is customers who simply love the products and are consuming them for their own health benefits.  Second off, they will be a part of the Direct Sales Association or DSA.  Thirdly upon joining they will have you fill out a W-9 form that goes to our United States IRS for tax purposes who if the business was a scam wouldn't have you fill out a legal form sanctioned by the United States government.

There is also tremendous tax benefits to being involved in a Network Marketing company, which I'm not going to go into in detail in this blog, but here's a tremendous book and here's the link to the website where you can learn all about that. http://howtodeductalmosteverything.com/

So chances are if you made it this far, you either are trying to still find why industry isn't legitimate or you are intrigued.  Either way, I just wanted to lay out the truth.  Trust me, I've gotten just about every look imaginable, just about ever slander, so you won't hurt my feelings.   

I'll close with this... If anyone is promising you fast money, it's more than likely a scam.  Yes, there are hundreds of opinion articles against these companies, but can we agree that we don't know what we don't know, and most of these opinions come from people who quit and went home early.  

Yes, in a world increasingly looking for more free hand outs, there are none here, so yes some people lose money because they join for a month or 3 and say it didn't work.  They never develop.  You can't open a business in the mall and close it in a month and say it didn't work.  You have to ride out the waves of starting a new business.  Bottom line, great things take time.

I guarantee you if you check the amount of people who join the gym Dec 15th to January 1st and you go back and look at those numbers by February 1st or March 1st, the numbers have significantly dropped in attendance.  So the gym must be a scam then because you didn't show up.  No, it's not the gym's fault, it's you! 

Network Marketing is made to be built part time while you pursue other things.  It's not made for a primary income and full time right away. Take advantage of the tax deductions of your traditional income and save yourself some money.  It's an asset you build on the side.  And I would argue the network of people you encounter in these companies is the most valuable part of this process.

It's absolutley changed my life.  I have launched a speaking career, I'm working on publishing my first book, I am healthier then ever. I am over a year sober from alcohol.  I am outgoing and positive and I feel as if my life has re centered itself. I gave myself a chance in this industry and I will continue to build it part time.

Speaking to a group of 8th Graders at Harvey Austin School 97

In closing here's my advice:

Take ownership of your life and give yourself time to grow.  Show up and persist. Hang out with the right crowds of people, the ones who encourage you, not drain you.  The one's who breathe life into you, not take the life out of you.  Whether it be network marketing or any type of adventure and journey in this life, those are the people who win in the long run.

Protect your dreams, get educated, open your mind, find a vehicle to your dreams, live an abundant life full of possibilities and may your heart be filled with joy and happiness.

This is America. Enjoy the freedom we have to make our dreams come true. Semper Fi my friends and always Stay True! 

God Bless!