Top 5 Lessons I learned in 2014

Hope the New Year Brings you tremendous blessings.  As the hour approached to midnight, I started thinking about all the lessons I had learned this year and this is what I came up with.  Make this year an amazing one!

Top 5 Lessons I learned in 2014

1) I'd rather stay myself and lose everyone then become someone else to please everyone. Be careful who you back because often they'll turn theirs and even if you had their best intentions at heart, they will become a direct reflection of your integrity. Set boundaries, rise above the noise and choose carefully.

2) You'll stand up for people, you'll back them, heck you might even pour your whole heart into someone and they may just walk away like nothing ever happened. That's ok though because if it offends you, it was always about you in the first place. Let them go. Wish them well in your heart. You did what you could while you had the chance. You learned a lesson and you just may have changed and inspired a life forever.

3) You'll stand alone often if you stand for something. And you will be tested. No doubt about that. It will sometimes feel like the world is crashing down on you. Really your strength is being tested and your character is developing for a greater mission you don't understand in the present, but you will in the future. You'll be slandered against, criticized, but in the end the only question that matters is: At the end of the day and when you wake up, Are you happy with the person staring back at you in the mirror?

4) Faith is just about the most important thing we have. It guides us forwards and it's often the only thing that understands us. It's the light when all that surrounds us is darkness. It's what carry's you forwards when circumstances are tough. Lean not on your own understanding. Trust in something greater than you.

5) We are not in control of everything. We never were. We are only in control of ourselves, of our own choices and our own actions. If you aren't happy, change. You have the opportunity every single day. You don't always have to explain yourself, but it's always important to be yourself. Let faith win that battle and let fear take the back seat.

Quote to take you into 2015

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. It somehow already knows what you want to become." -Steve Jobs

Cheers to 2015! Make it the best damn year ever.

Semper Fi. Stay True.

- Jeff

Conformity. A True Disease

 

Conformity. I believe it's a disease of the weak minded.  Most people may never go on to discover their greatest gifts only to fulfill the desire to fit in, in every crowd they ever encounter.  

I got to reading this today and I had some real thoughts as I read this, as I believe it's the number one cause of many of life's difficulties and it will often lead to an unfulfilled very empty heart...

So first...

What is conformity?
 
Conformity is a type of social influence involving a change in belief or behavior in order to fit in with a group.

This change is in response to real (involving the physical presence of others) or imagined (involving the pressure of social norms / expectations) group pressure.
 
Conformity can also be simply defined as “yielding to group pressures”

Group pressure may take different forms, for example bullying, persuasion, teasing, criticism etc. Conformity is also known as majority influence (or group pressure).
 

The term conformity is often used to indicate an agreement to the majority position, brought about either by a desire to ‘fit in’ or be liked (normative) or because of a desire to be correct (informational), or simply to conform to a social role (identification).

 

This is the very reason I find it hard to stay in most groups for extended periods of time.  As soon as they learn who you are and that you think different, the group usually tries to force you into conformity, often times labeling you with stupid nicknames, treating you like crap, pressuring you to act a certain way, cracking jokes about you, and externally lashing out at you just cause you won't conform to the ways of the crowd.

For one second just look at all the great entrepreneurs and leaders throughout history (Steve Jobs, Ghandi, Dr. King) they all share something unique. They stayed true to them-self throughout the whole process, refusing to conform to anything outside of their heart, their vision, and often times what was right for the greater good of society. That's why in 2014 we still bring them up long after they've departed the earth.

Isn't it funny how usually we name the same people over and over who have made a significant impact on the world? That in itself will show you how popular it is to conform. 

One of my favorite quotes is about our deepest fear as humans.  In that quote it says.. "Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so other people won't feel insecure around you." This quote I believe speaks volumes.  How often do we yield to pressure just to be accepted?

In conformity, people lose track of the most important thing and that is their-self. All of their individual creativity, their thoughts get thrown out the window.  They become just like the group in order to feel comfortable, to fit in, which in response your telling your own heart no.  

What I find funny is the conformist spends so much time on external conditions, everything outside of them-self... world affairs, what he said, she said, the economy.. etc. because I believe it's an amazing escape and avoidant behavior to discovering your true identity.

Just too darn afraid of their own their own self, to learn their own value.  We all know it's easier to fit in every single time. To walk in the room and talk about someone else, then it is to believe in yourself. To dress, look and act the part and your good to go. Maybe on the outside, but I can assure you, not on the inside.

Why would you ever have an amazing idea and say no to your own heart? One word- Conformity. 

It just may be the greatest individual action that truly shows everything you need to know about a person's character. An individual that conforms will abandon anything they start from the heart, to take on an identity to please the crowd every single time.

I challenge you to look in the mirror, listen to only your voice, stand alone in a time of adversity and see what you'll learn. The answer to many of life's issues all start with you, internally, not externally.

Don't ignore your heart, it always tells the truth.

One Year Sober

This Saturday I'll be celebrating my one year sober and clean from alcohol. I don't say this to brag or impress on anyone that if you drink alcohol that makes you a bad person.

I just know what it was doing to me and the effects it was having on me personally. For me personally, I decided it just wasn't worth it anymore. Enough was enough.

As you can imagine, when you turn from a path to pretty much going off the beating one into self discovery mode, entrepreneurial, taking risks etc.. You are met with some intense critics and at times pure hate.

Over this year I've been met with a ton of nicknames. To name a few... Communist, Fake, Phony... Etc.. I stood there and I took it, but I realize anyone who so chooses to use that language toward you does not deserve a spot in your head or life. Also they are usually saying more about themselves then then are you.

Choose to live by values and principles and walk away. Wish them tremendous blessings in life and carry on.

The old mantra is true if you'll change, everything will change. The key to your better future is you. I used to hope the government would change, taxes would change, the economy would change, negative relatives would change, but I realized there was a big problem with my list, I wasn't on it.

The work of real change in life starts with you. It's an internal battle, not an external one. Work on the guy or girl in the mirror each day and I promise you everything will change for you.

This past year I purposefully used Instagram as my way to challenge myself to post content that would add value to someone's life or at least make you think, and document where the sober journey was taking me, so I'd be able to reflect.

So I decided to compile a 3 minute video last night of where this last year has taken me and I'm excited because it's only the beginning of a better future.

Many other voices will try to tell you what you should do and where you should be. My best advice stay true to your heart man. Win the war internally and your external environment will not only clean up, but your heart and soul will flood with tremendous joy and fulfillment. You'll start to enjoy the reflection staring back at you.

Wishing you all the blessings on into the holidays and the New Year! Be set free. God Bless!

Hope you enjoy.

Video Music Credit: Boyce Avenue- On My Way

http://youtu.be/mLtMj4grzgY

Open Up Your Mind And You'll Be Introduced To A World You Never Once Knew

So I remember it perfectly.  It was December 2012.  I had just finished up my Masters Degree and all signs pointed I was on my way to Corporate America.

It's kind of funny what happened next.  I had never watched "The Voice" at all. In fact I usually made fun of people who did, but one cold winter night during a crossroads in my life I happened to stop on NBC as I was flipping channels in my old apartment. I saw this girl, Cassadee Pope singing and it caught my attention. I knew nothing about her, but immediately I was like this girl has something. I saw a girl glowing with passion and chasing her dream. It was the second last episode of that season and I just knew she was going to win. Especially after her mind blowing cover of Miranda Lambert's famed song, "Over You"  She stood out. I ended up watching the season finale to see her win and sing alongside her hero Avril Lavigne, looking like she was having the time of her life.  

I started realizing man people who chase their dreams have the best stories.  The more I learned about her, I was like damn this girl speaks my language. That's the biggest thing I realized is people who chase their dreams understand one another because they have common similarities that most people aren't willing to endure.  The risk, the criticisms, the hate, the adversity... Basically you say to yourself- I am willing to fail in front of the whole world and in the end it's still a success.

Soon after that final episode aired and Cassadee was crowned Season 3 Winner of the Voice, I had an opportunity come to me that would allow me to live my dream if I was willing to change my bad habits, to give up my safety and comfort as well as what most people cling to is their security aka "comfort zones."  

I decided to go all in on my dreams, turning from the Corporate way of life. I was excited, yet secretly terrified.  I threw my resumes in the garbage (which felt so good) and what do you know the day I decided to do that... That night, I look over and there she was again on my TV this time on New Years Eve in Times Square with Carson Daily.  God will give you signs to let you know you are not alone and this was one of them. 

I remember thinking man going after your dream is so amazing.  Just laying it all on the line and taking that chance, look at the rewards on the other side. She went from not knowing if she'd win a show in front of the world on TV to singing at one of the biggest celebrations in America. It's truly amazing! 


Needless to say here I was, I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, and I had almost all my friend groups criticizing and disowning me for choosing to live my dreams.  I had family telling me I was nuts, but New Years Day 2013, I hopped in my car anyways on a dollar and a dream and was off to Florida to start this journey. I've been on the journey ever since all over America landing in spots I never could've imagined.  My whole life changed overnight.  Yeah, plenty of people left me.  They turned there back and were gone, but man I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned.

Am I rich yet?  No... Has everything gone as planned? No, actually not at all.  I've failed so many times in this past year and a half it's incredible, each failure teaching me a new lesson.  It's been the greatest growing experience of my life.  If anyone told you dreams were easy, they lied. I sold everything I had, dropped my apartment and went all in.  Tip toeing in the water will never work in living your dream.  It's pretty simple, you're either in or you're out.  There really is no in between.  If you stop, no one is covering your shift.  So, for the days of uncertainty on the path of pursuing my dreams, I came up with this quote that has carried me through the patches where I didn't know, and the future seemed blurry.  I chose to focus on the here and now instead.  I'd look in the mirror and say this quote: "I've never been more broke, but I've never felt so rich." 

I am alive. I am free, and I am in love with this life. It's rare you don't find me smiling now a days. I've been blessed to be able to be mentored for over a year now with a guy I call my good friend who came from the National Football League.  I've met my heroes.  I've seen every aspect of my favorite hockey teams NHL arena and got a guided tour by a player.  I got to touch and pose with the Stanley Cup.  Things I always dreamed about as a kid. I am not here to brag about any of this, but I am here to show you it's possible.  If you can think it, it's real and it just gets more and more real as the days carry on.  Often the question I am asked and I find funny is: How come you get to do all this stuff?   Scroll back to the top and re read what I've already wrote.  Serving my country and fighting in two wars, making it back alive and in one piece laid the foundation.  Bottom line is: You have to make a decision and you must endure risk. Plain and simple. 

I remember thinking if I had a chance to meet Cassadee "someday" I'd want to say thank you for changing my life and being a huge influence to me, during such an uncertain time. Three months after I made the decision around New Years 2013 I met her in Las Vegas on a limb while at a convention. I had no clue we'd be at the same place, same time. I had no clue I'd ever meet her. Now I've been fortunate and blessed to be able to meet her three times now in just over a year.  I've been blessed to be able to share some laughs with Cassadee. She is truly one of the nicest, most genuine girls I've ever met. If you have the chance to meet her, do it. In fact this past time we joked, "Started from the bottom now we here." Haha.   

In fact, there has only ever been five winners of The Voice and I've met three of them.  It's insane to me, but God will open doors when you put your faith in him and say, I trust you.  You are guiding me, though I can't always see it.  Great quote from a pastor that I carry with me on the journey is: "God uses pain and suffering to shape us into who we ought to be, not who we want to be, or what others think we should be."

Bottom line is: Thoughts become things.  You have to be willing to be all in though, or else thoughts are just thoughts.  It's like being in an endless day dream.  You have to awake from that day dream and get out there if you want it. The world is massive with tremendous opportunity and you have skills no one else has. Think about that. It's astonishing. Use them.  

If you're out there chasing your dream keep going.  Failure is the stepping stone to massive growth.  You just never know who you are inspiring and God has a plan for you. 

No matter what anyone says- Listen to what God puts in your heart, it will never lead you astray.  Oh and in case I didn't make it clear- Thank you Cassadee for being that shining light when I needed it most.

God Bless and Semper Fi